What Is the Set Aside Prayer?

The Importance of a Set Aside Prayer in Alcoholics Anonymous

When I first came to treatment, I thought I already knew everything I needed to about recovery. I’d read the Big Book. I’d been to some Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. I could recite the Serenity Prayer by heart. But despite all of that, I couldn’t stay sober.

I was drowning in my own thinking, my own preconceived beliefs, and my own lifelong conceptions of what recovery should look like.

That’s when someone introduced me to something simple but powerful. They told me about the Set Aside Prayer.

At Ingrained Recovery I started learning that recovery isn’t about having all the answers, it’s about finding the willingness to ask new questions. And more than anything, it’s about learning to set aside everything I think I know, especially when that knowledge keeps me sick.

If you’re struggling like I was, I can’t recommend Ingrained enough. That’s where I started to find real peace, and where I learned the value of starting over with an open mind.

The Set Aside Prayer: A New Way of Seeing

The Set Aside Prayer is simple. It’s not found in scripture or some ancient doctrine. It came out of the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, often attributed to people who were desperate to finally see the truth.

It goes like this: “Dear God, please help me set aside everything I think I know about myself, my disease, the Twelve Steps, and especially You, so I may have an open mind and a new experience.”

That’s the heart of it. The Set Aside Prayer helps us loosen our grip on what’s not working, so we can be open to what might. For someone like me, whose self-will and pride ran the show for years, that wasn’t easy. I had a seeming inability to admit I was wrong.

But praying that set aside prayer, quietly in the mornings or before meetings, became a small act of surrender. A way to stop clinging to old ideas that weren’t helping me heal.

Where My Thinking Led Me

Before recovery, I relied on my own thinking to manage everything. My disease told me I was in control. That I didn’t need help. That other people were weak. That God was for people who needed a crutch. I judged organized religion harshly and dismissed anything spiritual as nonsense.

But over and over again, that same thinking led me to relapse. It led me to broken relationships, sleepless nights, and a life I couldn’t stand. Eventually, the pain became too much. The dubious path I was walking hit a dead end. I became willing to attend AA meetings and even to listen to what was being shared.

So when someone suggested I start using the Set Aside Prayer, I didn’t argue. I was desperate (I later learned this is part of a 12-step acronyms, the Gift Of Desperation). At this point, I had motivation, and even a willingness, to try something different.

Letting Go of Lifelong Conceptions

One of the hardest parts of recovery has been letting go of several lifelong conceptions. About what God is. About who I am. About what it means to be strong. The Set Aside Prayer helped me realize that those ideas weren’t facts. They were just stories I’d clung to out of fear.

I started asking: What if I don’t know? What if I’m wrong? What if there’s another way?

That kind of humility cracked something open in me. It allowed me to see that my addiction wasn’t just about alcohol. It was about control. About fear. About refusing to accept help. And that made space for real faith, not blind obedience, but a faith rooted in trust and awareness.

Prayer as a Tool, Not a Task

I used to think prayer was reserved for religious people, or people who had some kind of spiritual enlightenment. But recovery taught me that prayer helps even when you don’t fully believe. Especially when you don’t fully believe.

However, scientific studies have proven that prayer has an effect on us. This study shows “the healing powers of prayer have been examined in triple-blind, randomized controlled trials.”

Today, I pray before I open the Big Book, before I call my sponsor, before I share in a meeting. I say the Set Aside Prayer to help me be honest, to remind me that I might not know as much as I think I do.

Sometimes it’s just: “Dear God, help me to let go of what’s in the way.” And that’s enough.

A Fresh State of Mind and a New Experience

The phrase “mind and a new experience” shows up often in recovery circles, and I never really understood it until I started using the Set Aside Prayer. Having a new experience isn’t just about doing new things. It’s about being open to them. About not letting my thinking sabotage growth.

When I was early in recovery, I struggled with trusting my Higher Power. I thought that power had to be fully defined and understood. But someone told me I didn’t need to fully define God to rely on Him. I just needed to be open.

So, I asked, “Dear God, please help me to be open to the idea that there is a power greater than me.”

And little by little, that prayer began working on me from the inside out.

When Spiritual Terms Deter People

I’ve watched a lot of newcomers get turned off by the spiritual terms in recovery. I get it. I was there. For many, spiritual language feels loaded, even triggering. Maybe it’s the association with past trauma, or just bad experiences with organized religion.

That’s why I believe the Set Aside Prayer is essential. It gives people the freedom to start fresh, without the weight of preconceived beliefs. It gives room for a new path, a new experience, and a connection with a Higher Power, even if you don’t know who or what that is yet.

Setting Aside in Real Time

There are moments in my life where I’ve had to set aside everything instantly. One time, my sponsee said something in a meeting that rubbed me the wrong way. My first reaction was judgment.

But instead of reacting, I paused and said to myself: “Help me set aside everything I think I know about this person.” And sure enough, I realized I was projecting. That thinking wasn’t about him. It was about me. That small pause gave me peace instead of conflict.

I’ve done the same with my partner, my boss, even my own brother. I still get it wrong. But the willingness to question my thinking keeps me from spiraling.

Why the Set Aside Prayer is so Useful

The reason the Set Aside Prayer helps so much is that it’s not about fixing things. It’s about making room. It creates space in our mind for something different, something real. It allows us to stop reacting from fear and start listening for the truth.

It’s a simple prayer that says: “I don’t have to know right now. I just have to be willing.”

And in a program where so much depends on honesty, willingness, and action, that small prayer can be the difference between resistance and recovery.

As an additional resource, be sure to visit our printable Serenity Prayer guide for a pocket-sized copy of this AA mainstay you can carry anywhere!

Ingrained Recovery Can Be Your Turning Point Too

If you’re struggling with addiction, and all your best efforts have left you exhausted, I want to tell you something simple: You don’t have to know all the answers. You don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to be willing to do it differently.

That’s what Ingrained Recovery gave me. It gave me a chance to press pause on the old script playing in my head. It gave me tools like the Set Aside Prayer, the Serenity Prayer, and the fellowship of people who’d been where I was.

If you’re tired of hitting the same wall, consider reaching out. You don’t have to walk this road alone. You just need a little faith, hope, and willingness to change. That’s where healing begins.

Well there, and with a single phone call to Ingrained to see what they can do to support you!